Let Get-It Free!

Monday, 30 December 2013

Conflict Strategies for Nice People

Do you value friendly relations with your colleagues? Are you proud of being a nice person who would never pick a fight?  Unfortunately, you might be just as responsible for group dysfunction  as your more combative team members. That’s because it’s a problem when you shy away from open, healthy conflict about the issues. If you think you’re “taking one for the team” by not rocking the boat, you’re deluding  yourself.

Teams need conflict to function effectively.  Conflict allows the team to come to terms with difficult situations, to synthesize diverse  perspectives, and to make sure solutions are well thought-out .  Conflict is uncomfortable, but it is the source of true innovation and also a critical process in identifying and mitigating  risks.

Still, I meet people every day who admit that they aren’t comfortable with conflict.  They worry that disagreeing might hurt someone’s feelings or disrupt  harmonious team dynamics. They fret  that their perspective isn’t as valid as someone else’s, so they hold back.

Sure, pulling your punches might help you maintain your self-image as a nice person, but you do so at the cost of getting your alternative perspective on the table; at the cost of challenging faulty assumptions; and at the cost of highlighting hidden risks.  That’s a high cost to pay for nice.

To overcome these problems, we need a new definition of nice. In this version of nice, you surface your differences of opinion, you discuss the uncomfortable issues, and you put things on the table where they can help your team move forward.

The secret of having healthy conflict and maintaining your self-image as a nice person is all in the mindset and the delivery.

To start shifting your mindset, think about your value to the team not in how often you agree, but in how often you add unique value.  If all you’re doing is agreeing with your teammates, you’re redundant .  So start by telling yourself “it’s my obligation to bring a different perspective than what others are bringing.” Grade yourself on how much value you bring on a topic.

Here are a few tips on improving your delivery:
1. Use “and,” not “but.” When you need to disagree with someone, express your contrary opinion as an “and.” It’s not necessary for someone else to be wrong for you to be right.  When you are surprised to hear something a teammate has said, don’t try to trump  it, just add your reality. “You think we need to leave room in the budget for a customer event and I’m concerned that we need that money for employee training. What are our options?”   This will engage your teammates in problem solving, which is inherently  collaborative instead of combative.

2. Use hypotheticals . When someone disagrees with you, don’t take them head on—being contradicted doesn’t feel very good.  Instead, a useful tactic is to ask about hypothetical situations and to get them imagining. (Imagining is the opposite of defending, so it gets the brain out of a rut.) If you are meeting resistance to your ideas, try asking your teammates to imagine a different scenario. “I hear your concern about getting the right sales people to pull off this campaign. If we could get the right people…what could the campaign look like?

3. Ask about the impact. Directing open-ended questions at your teammate is also useful.  If you are concerned about a proposed course of action, ask your teammates to think through the impact of implementing their plan. “Ok, we’re contemplating  launching this product to only our U.S. customers. How is that going to land with our two big customers in Latin America?”  This approach feels much less aggressive than saying “Our Latin American customers will be angry.”  Anytime you can demonstrate that you’re open to ideas and curious about the right approach, it will open up the discussion (and you’ll preserve your reputation as a nice person).

4. Discuss the underlying  issue. Many conflicts on a team spiral out of control because the parties involved aren’t on the same page.  If you disagree with a proposed course of action, instead of complaining about the solution, start by trying to understand what’s behind the suggestion. If you understand the reasoning, you might be able to find another way to accomplish the same goal. “I’m surprised you suggested we release the sales figures to the whole team. What is your goal in doing that?” Often conflict arises when one person tries to solve a problem without giving sufficient thought to the options or the impact of those actions.  If you agree that the problem they are trying to solve is important, you will have common ground from which to start sleuthing toward answers.

5. Ask for help. Another tactic for “nice conflict” is to be mildly self-deprecating and to own the misunderstanding.  If something is really surprising to you (e.g., you can’t believe anyone would propose anything so crazy), say so.  “I’m missing something here. Tell me how this will address our sales gap for Q1.” If the person’s idea really doesn’t hold water, a series of genuine, open questions that come from a position of helping you understand will likely provide other teammates with the chance to help steer  the plan in a different direction.

Conflict — presenting a different point of view even when it is uncomfortable — is critical to team effectiveness. Diversity  of thinking on a team is the source of innovation and growth. It is also the path to identifying and mitigating risks. If you find yourself shying away from conflict, use one of these techniques to make it a little easier.

The alternative is withholding your concerns, taking them up outside of the team, and slowly eroding trust and credibility.  That’s not nice at all.

Sunday, 1 September 2013

The right to be racist

It is awkward to write controversial issues on the 56th of National Independence day. Most of us are prejudice on each other either in the basis of religion, race or what so ever.

It is great to denied, but the truth will rise waiting the time to move. We are claiming the GLC are dominance by BUMI and it is truth. Even the NON BUMI can’t deny the majority of the company own by them on the same situation. What is the problem? Why these situations happen?

Politician working hard to find the solution but it is clear the answer is the system not working. Our EDUCATION was separating us to be uniting. We are facing these issues since before independence until now. To be honest, it bitter but the reality people not realizes this situation.

Even US until now face the same thing, we able to hide under the carpet but the end? When the end of life in this kind of hypocrite? How the next generation will suffer with our action? You are Malay, You are Chinese, You are Indian and you are Sabah and Sarawak.

We only think on the side of us, we never truth to the situation of Malaysia. We are trying to use OSA to cover the problem without settling the issues. We can maintain our shape until it leak. We are acting harmony in the fake mask of truly Malaysia. 

Tuesday, 4 June 2013


  1. Aku lepasan universiti, berijazah kejuruteraan nampaknya gah tetapi gajiku hanya 2000 tolak simpanan hari tua RM1,760.
  2. Aku baru memulakan kehidupan, perlukan kereta untuk berkerja jadilah walaupun hanya VIVA. Mudah untuk memilikinya, tunjuk ijazah dan tawaran kerja dapatlah kereta. Bayaran pun murah RM 400 sebulan selama 108 bulan.
  3. Dahulu aku belajar guna PTPTN, jadi aku bayar RM 200 sebulan.Jangan tak bayar, berdosa.
  4. Aku tinggal menyewa, bayaran termasuk semua kelengkapan kira2 RM 250 sahaja. Ingat nk beli rumah selepas ini.
  5. Kemudian ku kirim wang untuk ibu yang jauh dikampung, tidak banyak RM 200 jadilah meringgankan beban.
  6. Ulang alik kerja, isi minyak kira2 RM 150 termasuklah jalan2 pergi shopping tingkap.
  7. Makan minum kat kedai mamak semua kira2 RM 300.
  8. Total semua RM 1,500 dapatlah aku simpan RM 260. Sikit2 lama2 jadi bukit. Betul x?
  9. Setahun simpanan aku RM 3,120 simpanlah aku untuk berumahtangga.
  10. Genap setahun menyimpan, kereta pulak mintak insuran nasib tidak banyak RM 1,000. Adalah aku RM 2,120.
  11. Hantaran 10,000 tidaklah banyak, standard sekarang. jadi kira2 5 tahun lagi dapatlah aku kahwin.
  12. Nasiblah calon isteri setia, menantilah dia selama 5 tahun kalau x jadi merana.
  13. Kerja ku dikilang sahaja, kasihan lagi kepada operator gaji RM 900 je masuk OT semua RM 2200-2300. Itulah kau nak jadi ENGINEER.

Monday, 6 May 2013

Saya berdiri diatas pendirian saya


Penulis saya kali ini berkisar dengan PRU-13 dan merupakan PRU ke 4 saya lalui dengan penuh kefahaman tetapi yang pertama sebagai pemilih rasmi.

Secara terang saya inginkan pembaharuan politik sejak saya berusia 11 tahun dan kini hampir menjenggah usia 26 tahun. 15 tahun saya menganalisis politik sehingga kini, dan 4 kali berturut-turut saya merasai kegagalan dalam PRU sebagai penyokong.

Pegangan politik saya bukanlah ikut-ikutan dan juga bukan bawaan keluarga tetapi ianya penepati pemikiran yang dibenihi oleh pembacaan dan pemerhatian saya lalui.

Kegagalan menerajui Putrajaya bukanlah perkara baru, bahkan ia membuatkan saya semakin faham ada perbezaan jelas antara pengundi Bandar dan luar Bandar.

Kecelikan politik bukan milik semua orang apatah lagi keghairahan seperti saya ini berbeza sekali dengan teman seusia. Dahulu rakan-rakan saya tidak tahu politik tetapi sekarang mereka lebih mengetahui dahulu dari saya. Harapnya mereka mengundi dan mengerti bahawa masej yang ingin disampaikan bahawa Malaysia mampu ditadbir lebih baik dari Kerajaan Barisan Nasional berbekas dihati.

Cemohan dari penyokong ikut-ikutan tidak membekas bahkan menjadi pemangkin bahawa suatu hari nanti mereka akan sedar mengapa saya menentang kerajaan sedia ada.
Selamat Maju jaya.

Monday, 18 February 2013

Hanya Kerana Allah

Tegang dengan Isu Kalimah Allah dalam PR dalam tidak seberapa ketika PRU-13 bertandang.

DAP tegas bahawa PR harus akur dengan persetujuan 3 pemimpin utama PR.

Majlis Ulama Pas yang bertegas bahawa Kalimah Allah dalam versi bahasa Melayu tidak harus dibenarkan.

DAP dakwa keputusan Majlis Ulama bukan keputusan majoriti.

Persetujuan 3 pemimpin PR juga bukan keputusan Majoriti. (Pada pandangan saya)

Janji Pakatan Rakyat

  • PTPTN mansuh
  • Free Education 
  • Harga Minyak Turun
  • Harga kereta Turun
  • Banteras Rasuah
Banyak lagi janji-janji yang terukir, seiring dengan kehendak Allah akan ku turuti.

Bila sebut kalimah Allah dalam bible versi Melayu, itu secara terang ada agenda sulit untuk mengelirukan.

Mengapa saya dan majoriti berkata demikian??

  1. "God" jika diterjemaahkan secara terus bermaksud tuhan. Kenapa hendak juga ALLAH??
  2. Jika awak kata sejak zaman jahiliah lagi masyarakat arab baik dari Yahudi dan Nasrani menggunakan perkataan Allah walaupun sebelum Muhammad S.A.W., itu memang benar. Sebabnya mereka telah menerima ajaran Allah lebih awal  melalui Nabi Ibrahim A.S. dan Nabi Isa A.S. dan meraka kekal menggunakannya sehingga kehadiran Muhammad S.A.W. 
  3. Dan adakah anda ingin mereka kekal perkataan Allah SWT , walaupun mereka telah menyekutukan Allah?
  4. Jika mereka kristian percaya dan yakin dengan ajaran mereka, mengapa mereka ingin menggunakan perkataan Allah perkataan tuhan jelas paling sesuai digunakan menggantikan "god"?
Saya lebih sanggup untuk tidak menikmati semua janji Pakatan Rakyat dari saya membiarkan Anak Cucu saya tergelincir dari Tali Allah SWT.

Apalah makna kehidupan saya jika saya sanggup menyesatkan saudara saya hanya kerana beberapa janji yang menyenangi hidup duniawi ini.

Apalah makna aspirasi kita untuk menjadikan hukum Allah (Hudud) dibumi Malaysia ini sedangkan perkataan Allah kita tidak pertahankan. 

Saya juga tidak akan bersama UMNO. Perjuangan saya adalah apa yang selari dengan kehendak Islam dan tidak mensyirikkan Tuhan yang Esa (ALLAH).

Hayyu Zahari 
Ayer Keroh